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Before you say I Do

I was 24 years old when I got married & at 27 years old there were no more forever's. I had spent half my life with someone only to realize we weren't for each other. We were each other lessons instead. I said I would get married once & it would last for eternity; however, I am grateful that it didn't work out like that. Truth was it took 3 in a half years to heal from that pain. I use to be angry that it didn't work out back then, only to realize we were two people that grew up in two broken homes. I never knew what real love was back then but still believe in a raw organic partnership. I am accountable for the role that I played in my failed marriage & knew damn well we shouldn't have said I do (I get it now) . Neither of us were ready for marriage but thought it was the answer.


To my younger self, baby you needed to heal your own childhood traumas you saw at 5 years old. That trauma changed your life forever but it took for your marriage to fail & you to heal to get in a better space. Before you say I do, please make sure you are living in your truth, have healed, living your life for yourself, have your finances in order, have your own goals you are checking off of a list, not putting your all in a person, & doing the proper work to get your own life in order daily. If a person cheats on you that has nothing to do with you. I use to think sleeping with the same person, pleasing their needs (sexually), making space for them emotionally, building together, cooking, getting to the root of things, being able to communicate, understanding, listening, asking what business would you like to create & much more would be the answer.


You can suck dick like a pro, ride a dick upside down, put your lingerie on, dance your ass off, & it still won't be enough (I use to think this way at 25 years old). Listen the only thing that will make any woman or man stay is to decide for themselves to do it. Make sure that you are whole by yourself before you allow someone to come into your life. You deserve time to yourself & that person does too. You should be able to create your dreams & still wake up excited. You two should be able to motivate each other but listen to me when I say go off of the actions & not the words.


A person who plays games, will look you in your eyes & feed you a dream, then you may see them giving that dream to someone else. It may hurt you, but that disappointment will change your life. You deserve real s**t in your life so please so please don't ever settle. You deserve the world just make sure you are giving it to yourself as well. STop looking at everyone else relationship because you have no clue what they experience behind close doors. Learn how to value & love yourself. The younger me use to think wrong & I got my lessons hard from it. Now after all those years, I continue to give others the knowledge to become better. No more looking back but look forward for a better life & fresh start.


You matter.

You are important

You are more than your pain.

You are special & everything is inside of you.



-Godis Q

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